Meteor Man

Year of release : 1993

Run time : 1h40min

Genre : Action / Comedy

Cast : Robert Townsend, Don Cheadle, Eddie Griffin, Bill Cosby, Luther Vandross, Cypress Hill

Jefferson is a school teacher who never has any money. His neighborhood is terrorized by a criminal gang called 'The golden lords' who all dress the same and have the very same bleached haircut.

Trying to save a ridiculous woman who can't fight a 3 year old (she was on the floor while he pulled her hair!eye roll),he is chased down by the other gang members who apparently had nothing better to do,than lurk in the shadows. Or maybe this was a rite of passage.

A meteor lands on earth right into the leading character. He has severe burns,but heals pretty fast, and realizes he can see through walls and through people's clothes.

He then realizes he has certain powers like flight, but he doesn't do much with them.

He also has the power to know everything that a book contains for 30 seconds after he touched it.There's a scene in which there's definitely more than 30 seconds of that.

Oh,he can also understand and talk to the dog, which I found awful.

 

The neighborhood is always gathering, talking about how bad things are,but they never do anything about it. I didn't understand where was the police in all of this, as in one scene, the 'lords' see a police car,and walk away from beating a guy,so they didn't have the police in their pocket (?!)

I refuse to believe they were doing such destruction without the police's knowledge!

I loved this movie when I was a kid, but now it bored me!

The movie was written,directed and co-produced by the lead actor, Robert Townsend, and it seemed to have been a ego project,as it has a lot of celebrities of the time in it. It reminded me of the Michael Jackson movies which didn't make any sense.

Meteor Man doesn't do much with his powers once he has them,he just wastes them growing a garden with huge vegetables. How can one person or family eat a huge vegetable?'Don't know!'He does know that once you cut it,you must eat it because it turns bad very fast,like,within an hour. Or the people of the neighborhood were supposed to share one vegetable?

 

The Golden Lords were ridiculous, as their gang even had children who looked as old as three,that people were afraid of! There's a scene in which a grown woman is beaten by one of these little kids,to the point I can not suspend my disbelief anymore! You're telling me, a grown 40-50 year old woman can't fight a 3 year old?!'Oh,eff off, movie!' quoting The Critical Drinker.

These babies also have bleached hair! Isn't that dangerous for kids?

They even have a tiger, they walk with on the street! It was so bad,I got second hand embarrassment,watching it!

There's a scene in which Meteor Man stops a gang who was shooting at the police,just by telling them to put their weapons down. Wow! Groundbreaking! Why did no one think of that before?!

In a scene, the 'lords' gang knows who he is, but then they don't,anymore?!

Meteor Man's powers fade although he absorbed the meteor,but the man who has a piece of the meteor at home, getting powers by touching it,doesn't? He can't even save his own dog,the other guy does!

Speaking of which, one of the boss lords throws one of those huge garbage cans at the dog,and all the dog had was a few broken ribs?!

The acting was so and so.

I didn't like the soundtrack, as the songs didn't age well.

The visual effects didn't age well either,but were Ok for 1993.

 

Rating : Could have been a contender!