Simon sez
Year of release : 1999
Run time : 1h26m
Genre : Action / Comedy
Cast : Dennis Rodman, Dane Cook
Interpol special agent Simon, is on a mission, helped by his trusted team of 2 cyber monks. The monks’ fly spy gear intercepts Ashton, their favorite arms dealer.
Ashton’s painted men intercepts the car of the colonel he was doing business with, and messes with it, as the colonel decided the weapon Ashton wants to buy is not for sale.
Because Simon wants the cyber monks to fly the fly closer to Ashton, they fly the fly gadget around Ashton’s face, and Ashton destroys it.
Ashton leaves, and as his men beat the colonel, Simon intervenes and rescues him.
Michael Gabrielli and his girlfriend, Claire Fence, are spending time on the beach. Michael’s father is acting weird, asking them to stay where he can see them.
Simon is being interrupted by Nick Miranda while he’s throwing balls with old people. Nick is telling him he’s an old school mate and is trying to make him go with him to meet some people.
When pressed about it, Nick admits he has to meet some shady people and he’s afraid to meet them alone.
Turns out Nick is there to pay off Michael’s father who lied to Nick’s boss, Claire’s father, that he kidnapped her. Not seeing Claire in the place Michael’s father said she’d be, Nick refuses to give him the ransom, ending up in a fight that Simon wins.
Thinking they got away, Nick tells Simon he looked him up because his boss’ daughter was kidnapped and he needed his help, knowing he used to work for the CIA.
Another one of Gabrielli’s people shows up trying to get the briefcase, this time a woman, Simon’s ex (she was my favorite character). When she almost got away with the briefcase, Simon catches her and ties her up.
Simon takes Nick to his place as his ex knocked him unconscious, and sees that the briefcase doesn’t have any money, but a CD.
Talking to his boss, he tells Nick to give what he found in the briefcase to Gabrielli.
Turns out Gabrielli is blackmailed by Ashton, and is using Claire as leverage instead of his son.
Simon leaves to see what’s on the disk, and seeing he enters a church, Nick follows him.
After the cyber monks mess with him, they tell him the disk holds DOD secret information, and Simon agrees to help Nick get Claire back.
Gabrielli sets another date for the ransom, while Claire is at a wine tasting with Michael.
Simon and Nick manage to get Claire, but she believes she is being kidnapped (as the Gabrielli’s didn’t hold her hostage), and when she hears about her father, and talks to him, she thinks it’s all a ploy to keep her away from Michael.
It doesn’t take long before she calls Michael, and runs away with him from Simon’s house.
Simon and Nick go after her, but will they be able to find her in time, before Ashton’s men get to her?
This is one of the movies I used to love and have on original video tape. I’m happy to say I still enjoyed it. I still loved the action / fighting scenes which to me looked better than some action / fighting scenes in today’s movies. Everything looked real, not computer made.
The movie was funny, the actors deliver witty, funny lines.
Dennis Rodman was convincing as the lead, it looked like he did his own stunts.
The two monks were funny and lovable.
Dane Cook’s character seemed like a Jim Carrey wannabe, and annoyed me at times when he started with his antics.
I liked the places where they filmed, everything was beautiful, the landscapes, the houses, the interior design, the furniture..the people, their clothes.
The opening credits last for 1 minute and 42 seconds against a dark backdrop with awful music.
The acting was good.
The soundtrack was bad. It didn’t match anything on screen. I think a better score would have elevated the movie.
The visual effects were good (I think it only consisted of the bee and fly gadgets; and maybe the fire at the end. I really hope they didn’t blow up that beautiful building).
The movie holds a 0 Tomatometer rating against a 16% popcornmeter on Rotten Tomatoes, a 16 metascore against a 3.6 user rating on Metacritic,and a 2.7 score on IMDB.
You can watch the full movie on the Ok.Ru platform.
https://ok.ru/video/3633539123767
https://ok.ru/video/388584508082
Rating : Worth a watch!