The trouble with mistletoe

Year of release : 2017

 

Run time: 1h51min

 

Genre : Drama / Romance

 

Cast : Thomas Beaudoin

 

 

A Passionflix production,and streaming on Amazon's Prime Video,this movie is based on a Best Selling novel by Jill Shalvis.

 

"The trouble with mistletoe isn't where you hang it,but what happens when you're under it!" says the homeless man in the movie.

 

OMG! This movie got me so angry! I tried to watch it 3 times,and each and every time I ended up pausing and doing something else around the house!

 

SPOILERS AHEAD !YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

 

Thomas Beaudoin's character is a caricature - he's a horndog. The woman is not attractive ,and looks ten years older than her actual age. They also dressed her in the most atrocious outfits!

 

I can't believe the movies they make based on books,these days! It gives me hope that I can write crap and if lucky enough - cough- connected enough,I'm gonna have it turned into a movie!

 

The leading character's job is to marry dogs! You read correctly. And the guy finds it amazing !( No man,no person would find that amazing. I'm a woman and I'm like, WTF?! ) Unless he's joking and just says so to get with her,I don't believe it otherwise !

Also,the sex scenes in this movie - this is obviously a low budget movie so there was no need for nudity,but you can see Thomas B in all his splendor if interested.

From what I gathered from the book reviews,the book was full of sex scenes ,so I guess the creators had to stay true to the book.

 

I also hate how he likes her hideous clothes. This ugly shapeless dress she's wearing,he talks about how beautiful it is and how beautiful it makes her. What?! The dress looked like a potato sack . It wouldn't look good on anyone. They always dress them in ugly,cheap outfits, in low budget movies. I hate it when they lie about the so effing obvious! No,it's not a pretty dress,you look awful in it,in fact you should burn the f@ker ! I was honestly wondering how was that dress described in the book.

 

They also,always play awful music in Christmas tv movies.

 

The movie is full of sex alluding stuff. The antlers didn't look to me like p*n*s*s ,but I guess one needs a perverted mind to think such things.

 

The guy brings her a cat,she releases it from the bag,leaves the cat on the floor with an open door! Luckily the cat did not run away!

 

I love(I'm lying) how they put actors who look nothing alike when teenagers and adults - which is when your face changes and stays the same.

 

I find it so dumb and unnecessary to marry dogs! But I guess that's what one does when they have lots of money,free time and are nuts!

 

Oh my God! Animal magnetism,I lived to hear this one! The sexy scenes aren't sexy. The"hot as b*lls" expression ,is so not hot,but disgusting!

 

The lines are so bad and cheesy!

 

She is hang up on what he did to her in high school - he stood her up. He looked like a different guy in high school,not the same face ,not the same teeth! Who knows,might have been another guy!

He's late,but it's only a few minutes!

He keeps on hitting on her but he seems so disinterested ,so bored and tired ! Like I was,watching this sh!t !

As a teen she was a ginger,now she's brown haired. Just letting you know,to be prepared.

Same b*llsh!t,she fights him for what he didn't do when he was a teen!

 

So,his aunt,old,whom we never met,left him the cat - actually asked him to take care of it. This woman found him just to take care of her cat! She didn't have any friends?! And you don't have to take the cat to someone else's place! Was she away?! Why couldn't she keep the cat at home?( I cat sit for my sister)

Also,he's working from home,but keeps the cat at the pet store because he can't take care of the cat! He has money to burn,I guess!

 

Thomas B looks bored and tired the whole time,it's like he knew it was sh!t but needed the money or just the work.

 

This ridiculous woman is upset with him for what he doesn't even remember!!

 

The trans woman in the movie was better than the whole cast! She was the only one upbeat while the others seemed bored,tired or like it was too hot for them to function.

The actor who plays the homeless man  was good too.

 

The leads are dancing,but there's no music.

 

The action takes place from the 1st of December to the 25th .It seems there were months not 3 weeks and a half!

 

The lead has a homeless friend she makes a Christmas tree for and who socializes with people ,like he gives them mistletoe - I can only think of the diseases one can get from taking or touching something from a homeless person.

 

These are adults without kids who talk about reading Harry Potter! The f@k?!

 

The aunt ends up in the hospital and says she had too much excitement today while it was obvious it was not the same day! Let's analyze it,shall we? So many things happened - they went on a date, had sex(at night),then he was working(you can't tell me he was working at night and was called about the aunt) .

 

The movie is so bad! Everybody acts bored,which makes me think,maybe the director told them to act bored,tired,lifeless.

 

So,he comes to her place,she called him while he was running because her pipe broke,but when he leaves in the morning he has a duffle bag with him.

Also,the sex scenes,the first one was very bad;the last one with the tongue action and the nudity felt very inappropriate for a Christmas movie. And he's wearing a different outfit .He was probably jogging while driving the car or jogging with the bag.

 

Everybody in the movie dances without music. She wears the potato wrinkled sack dress for him! Awww!!..I personally would choose a dress to complement my figure,including the color to make me glow,but what do I know?!

 

She fights with him,again,for not wanting the cat he ended up with,or more like, a cat who was dumped on him ! A cat he didn't want,wasn't his,he just took care of!

Also,the stupid aunt tells him if he gets rid of the cat she dumped on him,she'll haunt him! B!tch,you wanted a cat,you keep it!(and I love cats,by the way!) Thomas B didn't want a cat,didn't have one! For God's sake,you can't force someone to keep your cat!

 

They have a Christmas party -at night- he takes her on a ride to find the missing cat,then they break up,and she ends up at this stupid fountain where she meets all her friends one by one. One of her friends tells her she needs to leave for Tahoe!?

At night,probably 10 or 11,they go buying Christmas trees- midnight on Christmas Eve,as the vendor said!

Stupid effing movies slash books!Yes, I wrote like that on purpose !

The Christmas tree was on their car with globes and everything!Duh!

I love you,after 3 weeks,You changed my life,after only 3 weeks. And,he's already effing proposing! So dumb!

She brings him a Christmas tree although his house is dressed in Christmas lights! What if he had an effing tree?! And why is the tree decorated already? Did they steal it from someone's yard?

 

Rating : The Horror..The Horror !..