Night teeth

Year of release : 2021

 

Run time : 1h48min

 

Genre : Horror

 

 

A Netflix production, Night Teeth is a mess of a movie.

 

So,the movie opens with an exposition about how vampires always existed and they're not what we're told in movies and books. They have a truce with the humans who know about them,to keep the peace.

 

Enter Jay,who is in his car with his girlfriend,Maria. She is snatched and Jay has to go find her. But he's not our lead.

 

Enter Benny,Jay's relative,who wants to drive his cool car,so Jay ( who drives vampires for a living) gives him the car and allows him to drive a vampire across town all night( without telling him the person is a vampire. Such a good relative) !

 

The guy he's supposed to drive turns out to be two girls. The two girls turn out to be vampires. Vampires who work for Victor,who plans to kill all vampire bosses in one night,to take over. He plans to take over having no help except for himself and his two friends!

 

Amazingly,these two women can take on legions of vampires and humans by themselves,without a scratch !

 

There's a scene with Victor,in which Jay shoots him in the head, and while he has a huge hole in his head,he talks,moves and is able to immobilize Jay,while also eating ! So,not only a shot and hole to the head doesn't kill him,but it doesn't even render him incapable for a few minutes!!! This vampire can think and move without a brain,y'all !

 

After the writer or writers,'cause I didn't bother checking how many people spewed this sh!t,made an effort to show us how invincible vampires are,especially the two chicks,-they even walk in daylight-,they are killed by the sun !!!

Victor is killed in this ridiculous scene by Jay who pushes him into the sun -Jay who couldn't defeat him when he was apt,he could push him towards the sun,after he was drained of almost all his blood!

 

These vampires can't be killed by bullets,y'all,only by knives,I don't even know if it's silver ones! It's ridiculous how these people who are supposed to know all about vampires to keep them in check,don't know how to kill them, Jay goes to a meeting with Victor where he plans to kill him with a gun which can't kill vampires!!!

 

Two vampire bosses ( one played by Megan Fox),who, I'm guessing,are supposed to be the oldest and best of their kind,are killed by Victor by himself,off screen. One of the vampire bosses even tries to call security when Victor tells them of his intent to kill them! What kind of boss vampire can't fight and lets others fight for them?!

 

Also, the two women, Blaire and Zoe, best friends since the '70's have a fall out because Blaire falls for Benny in one night,and Zoe wants to kill him! Their bond was so strong, Blaire turns on her for a guy she just met !

Also,the characters,except for Blaire, have no character development,Zoe and Victor are vacant,it doesn't matter if anyone helps them,it doesn't count. Benny saved their lives a few times,especially hers,and she still wanted to kill him!

 

Benny is a ridiculous character who instead of trying to kill these vamps,is helping them,killing humans for them! While at the same time being held hostage by them!!Did I mention their plan was to kill him?

 

The only thing I liked about the movie was Lucy Fry's outfit and the interior design of this hotel they were in,when Benny discovers they are vampires.

 

The plot was bad,the dialogue was bad,the music was bad,I think rock music would have matched better such a movie.

 

Megan Fox appears for five minutes or less in this movie,and Alexander Ludwig for five minutes.

 

As a Netflix production,the movie can be found on the platform.

 

Rating : The horror, The HORROR !