Tango & Cash

Year of release : 1989

Run time : 1h44m

Genre : Action / Comedy / Buddy Cop

Cast : Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher

The movie opens with Ray Tango who is onto a truck which transports drugs. When he catches the drivers, and the police get on the scene, they think he messed up, but he sho0ts the truck, and “snow” comes out.

Tango is considered the best cop in West Los Angeles, as he puts the bad guys away fast. He is always in a fine suit with a vest and a pair of glasses, looking classy and elegant, his superior telling him he looks like a banker.

Cash is the best cop of East Los Angeles. When he gets home, he finds an intruder sent there to k1ll him. Running away, Cash chases him, taking another man’s car and destroying it, destroying everything in his path, until he gets to the villain. He takes him into custody, and doesn’t quit until he finds out who sent him to k1ll him.

Cash is wearing jeans and t-shirts, with jackets, having long hair.

Because Tango and Cash keep on messing the criminal organization’s plans and shipments of dr@gs and weapons, the leader decides to ruin their reputation, for he doesn’t want to k1ll them so they’d become heroes.

He frames them by k1lling a man and planting their guns at the crime scene where they called them about a dr@g deal, and forges an audio tape using the dialogue between the two at the crime scene, making it look like they are corrupt .

The two are taken into custody, and charged. At the trial, the two plead a “no contest” to get a lesser charge for only a year and a half sentence in a minimum security prison.

When they get to the prison, they realize they are in a maximum security prison, and they are there to be k1lled, so they try to find a way out, and a way to clear their names.

The movie started out well, but it started losing me fast. At the beginning it had witty fast thinking funny lines which lasted through the whole movie, but it felt they didn’t work as well after a while, and the plot was ridiculous.

Tango has a younger sister, Katherine, who lives in his house with rent !!! He asks her if she needs money, while she pays him rent!!! WTF?! Who takes money from their siblings / family for staying in their house ?! But I digress. He’s the only one who calls her Katherine, as everybody else knows her as Kiki. There’s this ridiculous scene in which Cash is asking for Katherine, but nobody knows who she is, while right in front of the stage she’s on.

Cash likes Kiki and wants to date her. The feeling is mutual, but Tango says he doesn’t want her to date a cop, because he doesn’t want her to become a widow.

The villain is cartoonish, I actually checked to see if the movie is based on some comic book.

Also, the movies back then were so violent! SPOILERS There’s a scene in prison in which the villains el3ctr0cute Tango and Cash by dropping them in water, but they are fine!!! When they get to the villain’s place it looks like a construction site ! END OF SPOILERS

The movie has a line about Rambo, directed at Sylvester Stallone’s character, who played Rambo, and Stallone calls Rambo a pu$$y.

I liked Tango’s style, as he was always in a suit with a vest. He looked great!

I didn’t like Cash’s style, as he had ugly long hair and he looked messy.

The acting was good.

I hated the soundtrack ,as it didn’t match anything on screen. It was upbeat happy when something dangerous was happening!

IMBD graded the movie a 6.4. It got a score of 31% from the critics and of 52% from the audiences of Rotten Tomatoes.

Cinema Score audiences graded the movie a B+.

To me the movie was a one star, a star and a half at best, hence the “Coulda Woulda Shoulda” rating!

Allegedly the movie really had 3 directors, not just the one credited on screen (that was the original director), and many script writers for they kept on changing the script!

The movie received a few Golden Raspberry Awards nominations for Worst Actor for Stallone, Worst Supporting Actress for Russell when he was in drag, and Worst Screenplay.

Viewer discretion is advised, as the movie contains nudity from Stallone and Russell, and random women (not in the same scenes as the two famous men).

You can watch the full movie for free on the YouTube (but it’s cut shorter and zoomed in), and on the Ok.Ru platforms.

Rating : Coulda Woulda Shoulda!